October 21, 2014

In The News

Genie Sez - You Ain't Gettin' None
A Dubai man has been granted a divorce from a wife who, he alleges, refuses to engage in sexual activity with him. The difference keeping them apart, he argued, is impossible to settle, because her parents told him his wife was possessed by a genie who controlled her every move.
Obviously this isn't the genie.

When He Started Doing Jumping Jacks
ARLINGTON, Va. - A naked man, who was doing push-ups in the middle of an Arlington street, was arrested after police say he became aggressive and refused to listen to commands from officers.

Cops say they found 31-year-old Timothy Lowe just before 8 p.m. in the 3200 block of S. 24th Street. Officers say Lowe was naked, doing push-ups in the street, while under the influence of narcotics.

Police say they used a taser on him after he aggressively approached officers.
Mr. Lowe is a practitioner of the New Tae Kwon Whoa! exercise discipline.

It Was The Rug, The Rug Made Her Do It
Thanks to the Internet and a website that at the time, was scarcely known outside of Washington DC but a website we all know today: the Drudge Report, within 24 hours I became a public figure, not just in the United States but around the entire globe. As far as major news stories were concerned, this was the very first time that the traditional media was usurped by the Internet.

[...]Overnight, I went from being a completely private figure to a publicly humiliated one. I was Patient Zero.
No, you went from a completely private, "Do You Like My Thong Mr. President?", screwed up, attention-seeking intern to the most widely recognized provider of oral sex in the universe. To this day I refuse to let my wife and daughters wear a blue dress.

Seriously, while kneeling on the carpet in the most famous office in the world preparing to service the leader of the most powerful nation on the planet, did it ever occur to you somewhere in the dim, moist, hormone riddled recesses of your mind that this was indeed a very, very Bad Thing™? That throughout the civilized world you would not be able to walk into any public place without the accompaniment of smirking and giggling?

And what's love got to do with it? I am married (32+ years) to a wonderful woman who loves me to death. Yet, in my heart of hearts I know that if we were ever alone together in the Oval Office, she would never, ever do to me what you did to Billy Jeff.

To blame Matt Drudge for this shows that after all these years you still haven't learned a thing about the Bad Thing™ and under what circumstances it is a bad thing.  And that is a Bad Thing™ also.

Django Unzipped
Actress Daniele Watts, who played the slave CoCo in Django Unchained, and her boyfriend have formally been charged with lewd conduct, one month after claiming Los Angeles Police used racial profiling in their arrest.

Watts maintains that she and boyfriend Brian James Lucas were only kissing in her car, parked outside the CBS Studio Center, when police approached them on September 4.

However, witnesses allegedly told police that the two were having sex in public and the LAPD stepped in to investigate the claims.
And what's love got to do with it? I am married (32+ years) to a wonderful woman who loves me to death. Yet, in my heart of hearts I know that if we were ever alone together in the back seat of a car in Los Angeles in view of the public during daylight hours, she would never, ever do to me what Daniele Watts did to her boyfriend.

Don't complain, I'm on a roll here.

October 19, 2014

US IRS And DoJ - Same Corruption, Same Greed

The stench of Eric Holder's DoJ continues to astound. Of course there is no media attention:
Corrupt federal prosecutors presenting false evidence in order to shake down a blameless corporation and bring in tens of millions of dollars seems like a pretty dramatic story. Especially when former prosecutors support the charge and a chief judge acts on the allegations and takes dramatic action. Yet the media silence is deafening.

Eric Holder’s Justice Department is implicated in a dramatic and shocking case of alleged corruption that is so bad that the Chief Judge of the Eastern District of California has taken what can rightly be called the “nuclear option” and recused all the judges in the district from the case because they may have been defrauded by the DoJ prosecutors.
The short of it is the feds filed a law suit and lied about the evidence in order to fleece a company out of millions.

The order reads, in part:
Defendants base their Motion on the grounds that the United States' prosecution of this action constituted a fraud upon the Court when the United States attorneys and the Moonlight Fire investigators and their counterparts in co-pending state actions, operating under a joint prosecution agreement with the United States, advanced a corrupt and tainted prosecution, violated Defendants' due process rights, and engaged in investigatory and prosecutorial misconduct.

Defendants allege that this misconduct was perpetrated by officers of the Court and ultimately tampered with the administration of justice, in a manner that wronged not only Defendants, but also the Court and the public. 

According to Defendants, the government's misconduct compromised the judicial process and amounts to an unconscionable scheme designed to improperly influence the Court's decisions in this case. In fact, Defendants state that they perceive the Court itself as a victim “as it has neither had the chance to fully assess the trust it naturally placed in certain federal prosecutors nor the ability to do so in the context of all that was eventually discovered about the thoroughly corrupt and financially driven Moonlight Fire investigation.”

[...]Accordingly, all District and Magistrate Judges in the Eastern District of California are RECUSED from hearing case number 2:09-cv-02445 and all related matters. This matter is REFERRED to Alex Kozinski, Chief Judge of the United States Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, for the assignment of a judge other than from the Eastern District of California to sit by designation and hear case number 2:09-cv-02445 and all related matters

Story here and here.

October 18, 2014

How Ebola Is Done

Nigeria managed to stop ebola in its tracks. What did they do?
...there has not been a new case of the virus since September 5. And since September 24 the country's Ebola isolation and treatment wards have sat empty. If by Monday, October 20 there are still no new cases, Nigeria, unlike the U.S., will be declared Ebola free by the World Health Organization (WHO). 
What can we learn from this African country's success quashing an Ebola outbreak?
  • Fast and thorough tracing of all potential contacts
  • Ongoing monitoring of all of these contacts
  • Rapid isolation of potentially infectious contacts
Apparently Nigeria has people who know what they're doing running their disease prevention. Wonder if they'd like to come here...

Say Good Bye To Dad And Road Grime

SAGINAW, Michigan — Only a couple of families have taken advantage of a new service available at a Saginaw funeral home.

Drive-thru viewings.

Paradise Funeral Chapel recently started offering the option, which allows mourners to pay their last respects on the go. It was designed in part to cater to those with physical limitations.

The funeral home's president, Ivan Phillips, says he expects more customers to opt for the drive-thru once they learn it's not a gimmick and is safe to use.

[...]Curtains covering the window open when sensors underneath the pavement recognize the presence of a car. Mourners then get three minutes to view the body as music plays.
The Chapel owners also are planning to install a car wash in the viewing area. They'll call it "The Final Rinse."

Story here.

October 15, 2014

Turnip The Volume
Turnip The Volume

There's a story that goes along with this but I just don't care what it is.

She's really practicing for a new dance reality show 
- DWYHT - 
Dancing With Your Husband's Testicles.

October 14, 2014

USMC v. Korea - Battle Of The Drums

You Don't Say

October 13, 2014

Happy Columbus Day

A friend of mine is finishing up his master's degree in history and posted the following:
In the 8th century Spain was invaded and occupied by Muslims. For more than 700 years Islam ruled. In 1453 the Ottoman Turks conquered Constantinople. Europe was being bottle up at both ends. The Ottoman conquest captured the Balkans and was not halted until 1683 at the Battle of Vienna. Spain was restored to the Spanish, but it took the combined strength of Ferdinand of Aragon and Isabella of Castille in 1492. The Ottomans continued to block the eastern trade routes. The Portuguese decided to sail around Africa, but Columbus thought it would be better to sail west to get to the east. Columbus totally miscalculated the size of the Earth. Even until his death he never admitted his mistake.

Should we honor Columbus today? Absolutely! He was on a mission of discovery, not conquest. He was not a genocidal maniac. He was also trying to counter the blood thirsty conquest of the Arab and Turkish Muslims that were trying to convert European Christians. Remember folks Islam is spread by the sword not by spiritual conversion. Cutting off the heads of those who do not convert is an old tradition for Muslims. Like him or not he changed the course of world history and quite honestly for the better.

Interesting how the Muslim invasion of Europe is viewed as a beneficial thing, even though tens of thousands were killed, even non-belligerents. And Columbus’s bumping into Haiti is worse than the Stalin, Mao, and Hitler combined.

[...]The Spanish Catholics were not much better than the Muslims. After the conquest of Granada in the spring of 1492 they forced all Muslims to either convert or leave. Then in July of the same year they did the same to the Jewish population. The people who did convert were known as "Conversos," and they were all rounded up and beheaded during the Spanish Inquisition the flowing year. . . Moral of the story? Everyone throughout history was an asshole.

IMHO the truth is usually found somewhere between the extremes. Did Columbus do bad things? Of course he did. There is a world of difference between the 15th century view of the world and what we accept today. Did he violate the prevalent world view at that time on how to treat indigenous peoples? I gather not. 

Columbus was obviously not what we would call a godly man;  his main interest was commercial gain because that was the only way he could convince his financial backers to give him funding ... just like today's business models.

In many ways Columbus was not a competent administrator of the native peoples he encountered. It is forgotten that the first people he met in the Caribbean were cannibals (at a minimum the Caribs practiced a ritualistic form of cannibalism -  if you only eat people three times a year are you still a cannibal? Eat only the good parts?) although he was  criticized (and rightfully so) for his harshness in dealing with the Arawaks who were very successfully evangelized. The Spanish missionaries that he brought were very vocal in their criticism of him. The Spanish nobility were not pleased with his commerce in slaves and freed those he brought back to Spain. Curiously, his commerce in slaves was attacked not because it was immoral, but because it was illegal.

Yep - Columbus was in many ways was a real jerk. But just about every 15th century explorer could probably be considered a jerk by modern standards and he still put together a risky plan that introduced the Americas to Europe, for better or for worse. IMHO he made more of a difference for America than MLK.

And as far as standards go, I am sure 15th century folk would be absolutely appalled at the barbary of our modern practice of abortion that has killed over 53 million babies since 1973. 

October 11, 2014

Little People In The News

But He Still Needed A Kiddy Seat
As a loving fiancée, James Lusted would often treat his bride-to-be to a nice evening out.

But during a recent meal with partner Chloe Roberts, things took a turn from the romantic to the ridiculous after a waitress mistook the 3ft 7in dwarf for a child and brought him a colouring book and crayons.

It was only when the Harvester staff member heard the 26-year-old's deep voice that she realised her embarrassing blunder.
It wasn't so funny when he left just a wee little tip for the waitress.

But It Was Just A Little Indiscretion
A Spanish woman who cheated on her fiance on her hen night with a dwarf stripper and got pregnant thought her secret was safe - until she gave birth.

Spanish website Las Cinco Del Dia reported that while the unwitting husband was convinced that the child was his throughout her pregnancy, the jig was up when their son was born in a Valencia hospital with dwarfism.

Las Cinco Del Dia's report said: "Neither her closest female friends or her family knew she had sex with the midget stripper but once she had her son in her arms, she broke down and confessed what had happened.
On the plus side, he'll be able to wear his toddler clothes until he's in college.

But I Feel Short
Federal prosecutors in Philadelphia unsealed an indictment Friday accusing 45-year-old Eric C. Opitz of bilking Medicare out of more than $535,000 by claiming he was a dwarf who needed human growth hormone.

In reality, according to the indictment, Opitz was 450 pounds and 6 feet, 3 inches.

[...]He sold, it, prosecutors say, at something like $450 for each kit. He found his customers through a brazen ad on Craigslist, according to the indictment.
So it's social security fraud, mail fraud, trafficking in human growth hormone and anabolic steroids. Something tells me it won't be just a little prison time.

October 10, 2014

Iraq - Another Exercise In Futility

There is a reason why strong despots are (were?) the rule in the Middle East; they kept a lid on the Islamic nut cases that wanted to impose Sharia law on everyone. History will decide if the stupidest thing we've done in the last 100 years was to depose Saddam Hussein.

And now that they're killing each other in droves again, do we want to go back? Invest more lives, more treasure in the Muslim trailer park? We invested over 4,000 lives and $25 billion in rebuilding the Iraqi security forces so they could take care of themselves. For what?

The American Conservative has a compelling article on why the Iraqi security forces- some 900,000 men - has folded before an ISIS invasion of no more than 50,000. Entire battalions (63 so far) have melted away before the fundamentalist onslaught. Tens of billions of dollars of military equipment were abandoned and are now being used by terrorists.

The reasons? Culture and corruption.

Culture - it's how they have been socialized for centuries. Iraqis are not Americans and will never be. They are not Christians nor have they been exposed to Christian values. They do not think like we do and they do not act like we do. It is insanity to train them like we do.
...loyalty was the biggest factor in the Iraqi failures. After their own families, the soldiers and leaders were loyal to their tribes and then their religion, he said. “Iraq as a nation falls at the bottom of the list. Combine this with lack of cohesion, unity, loyalty, and camaraderie among themselves, and you have an organization that will disintegrate under pressure,”
Corruption - Bakeesh is a way of life in the Middle East and under Islamic law, rape isn't such a bad thing either.
Leaders looked out for themselves first by making side deals involving food, water, and even electricity if they were sitting on top of a generator. I got the first two battalion commanders I worked with fired for corruption that involved taking money out of soldier’s salaries and the rape of local Sunni women by the Shia soldiers. I understand what we consider corrupt in our culture was not in theirs, and I was learning to live with it. But I told them if it starts directly involving the welfare of their men, then I would come after them.
There's more than enough blame to go around. Our generals certainly may have had a hand in it also as they apparently were more concerned about greasing their own careers rather than reporting the facts.
“Claims by Petraeus, Dempsey, and other U.S. generals of Iraqi effectiveness were always exaggerated or false,” said (Ret.) Col. Doug Macgregor, an author and Army consultant who served in the first Gulf War. “The generals were simply cultivating their Bush administration sponsors in pursuit of further promotion.”
And we're inviting the same kind of failure in Afghanistan.

Secret Service Agents Injured At LA Fund Raiser

Several Secret Service agents were treated for minor injuries after slipping and falling in a massive outpouring of vaginal juices during a fundraiser for President Obama held in the back yard of actress Gwyneth Paltrow's Los Angeles residence.
One eye witness stated that Ms. Paltrow introduced the President with lavish praise, fairly gushing over Obama's achievements and expressing her desire to give him absolute authority over the affairs of all Americans.

As she concluded her introduction, witnesses noticed a semi-viscous, creamy liquid streaming down from between her legs, spilling onto the granite pavers and spreading towards the canape tables.

Then, as she handed the microphone over to the President, saying, “You’re so handsome that I can’t speak properly,” the stream became a downpour, flooding the backyard, shorting out the public address system and panicking the attendees.
Secret Service agents rushed into the encroaching pool to protect the President as its kerosene-like odor caused them to fear it could be highly flammable. The combination of slippery juice and freshly mown grass was too much for the agents' leather-soled Ferragamo footwear.
At least three agents slipped headlong into the deck stairs and one was overpowered by fumes as he tried to apply an ICD (Improvised Corking Device) to Ms. Paltrow. 
As he was being loaded into one of several responding emergency vehicles, the agent moaned that he couldn't believe he was injured in a "liberal pussy tsunami."
Ms. Paltrow was treated for dehydration at the scene with bottles of Evian, vaginal desiccants and restraining orders.
Story here.

H/T Weasel Zippers.

Nothing Has Changed

Take a look at the Christians preparing to be killed by lions in the Coliseum.

Then bear in mind that the arena is packed with howling liberal democrats.

Trunk Assassins

I couldn't help but think of Geico's "15 minutes could save you..." commercial when I read this:
A Manhattan man was sprung from an upstate prison Thursday after serving 15 years — only to be shot 15 minutes later by a thug he snitched on, law-enforcement sources told The Post.

The 33-year-old man was released from Otisville State Prison at 9:45 a.m. with a train ticket for a trip to a halfway house in Manhattan.

But when he got outside, someone in a white Hyundai offered him a ride — an offer he quickly accepted.
After about two miles, the car pulled over and a second person hopped out of the trunk, pulled out a gun and fired two shots at the newly-freed man, police sources said.
The victim is in stable condition and the suspects are in custody.
The gunman had a beef with the victim for snitching on him, sources said.
These idiots waited 15 years to kill the snitch - that's 15 years to plan ahead, to carefully script their scheme, to masterfully craft a pernicious and deadly plan. They picked him up from prison in the Hyundai O'Doom, drove away from the scene, caught him completely unaware, shot him twice at point blank range and still couldn't put him down.

There is an obvious need for trunk assassin training; perhaps a community college course. I am sure the gubmint would pick up the cost.